The Complex Relationship Between the Scapegoat Child and the Golden Child Siblings

Why might a golden child defend and join a narcissistic parent's abuse of their scapegoat sibling?

And is love– or some semblance of a relationship--ever possible between the two of them?

A true scapegoat child, ironically, has deep love for their golden sibling, just as they do for all the family members who abused them. The child who gets BPD also gets autism and is a highly sensitive and compassionate person.

Beware the person who claims to HATE their sibling while saying their sibling was "spoiled:" this is one of many red flags of a narcissist who is pathologically projecting and using the scapegoat as a container for shame, as the rest of the narcissists in the family do.

The scapegoat has always existed as someone to blame.

Anyone with emotional empathy understands that every child who endures an abusive and self consumed parent who can't emotionally connect goes through lifelong pain and trauma, and if they're truly self aware and doing the healing work, they'll pity their narcissist siblings and understand that no one got to choose their shape of pain, the effects of their child abuse and masked autism, or their position in the family. All of us suffer in different ways.

However, the golden child will typically point fingers at everyone but the mirror when it comes to addressing the effects of their childhood trauma on their behavior, and it isn't uncommon--starting in early childhood--that the golden child joins in with their narcissist parent(s) in tormenting and hating the scapegoat child.

There are three equally important factors to their behavior:

1) PRIVILEGE

The golden child role in the family is one defined by unearned privilege at birth.