The Making of a Vampire: How the Narcissist Turns Cold

At the core of narcissistic cruelty is a terrible, unbearable knowing that they’re constantly trying to deny and suppress: SHAME.

It’s the knowledge that something inside them is broken, and if they ever speak of it plainly, they fear they’ll collapse — or be judged, rejected, punished, or annihilated. 

A lot of narcissist’s secrets are ones that are shameful to them: they can’t speak of either their traumas or their secret behaviors due to their phobia of shame. Therefore, even when surrounded by many supply sources, they sit in a pit of loneliness and despair. 

Their pain is old, formative, and wordless. It’s rooted before they even formed long-term memory. It came so early in childhood that it feels like it’s a program of their DNA. It lives beneath language. 

And because it cannot be spoken, it must be shared.

Not through intimacy, because they don’t have the capability to share it through intimacy without collapsing. It’s shared through injury.