You Were the Best Sex They'd Ever Had: That's Why They Ghosted You
Sometimes the problem is they felt far more than they knew how to handle...
Before I went long-term celibate (best decision of my life!), I yearned for love like it was a full time job.
My bed was a deranged carousel of nightmares — the haunting music box played its never-ending tinkering melody as the backdrop to every trauma bond I fused.
I had myriad experiences that ranged from sudden ghosting to atomic level wreckage.
Something that often confused me was the phenomenon of the man who seemed to experience the best sex with you — only to VANISH immediately after.
I’d stare at myself in the mirror, hypercritical of every flaw — wondering if a mole or a birthmark or my puffy fupa were the culprits making love and sex impossible for me.
Therapists told me I was choosing poorly, but I couldn’t figure out how to choose correctly. I chose men who seemed kind and were diverse in careers, races, social class, interests.
The common denominator was ME.
However, the other head-scratching experience was that these men had a tendency to RAVE about experiencing sex with me.
Even years after. Sometimes even decades…
As far as I could tell, they weren’t acting. They’d have long orgasms that shocked us both; they’d be stunned in bed afterwards, staring at me in disbelief, asking if I was a sorceress, if I’d put some kind of spell on them.
They’d shower me with compliments and have sex with me repeatedly, obsessively.
And then they’d vanish — without any sort of conflict provoking it.
Always, they’d come back. A few days, a few weeks, sometimes a few months — and suddenly, you’d get a barrage of horned-up texts that proved that they not only never forgot you: they remembered every little thing.
I’d let them return, hopeful maybe this one had seen I had some lovable traits. We’d have intoxicating sex, and we’d be absolutley stoned immaculate on each other’s touch.
And then they were gone again….
And I was thrust back into my borderline personality disorder pit of self loathing and confusion over my worth.
Why did men tell me I was the best they ever had and then vanish on me?