Warlock

What To Do If a Narcissist Used Black Magic on You

First: don’t panic. Second: light the candle.

First: don’t panic. Second: light the candle.

If you believe someone has sent darkness toward you — through intention, ritual, obsession, hatred, envy, psychic attack, whatever name you give the invisible things that amount to energy work and black magic — you don’t have to become darkness in order to survive it.

In fact, it’s pretty imperative that you don’t.

If you face this kind of entanglement, you’re now in the realm of spiritual warfare.

You’re often in the midst of energy drainers, destiny swappers, monitoring spirits, warlocks, demonic assignments, and spiritual vampires.

They’d love to see you dead, but they’ll settle for turning you into one of them.

Projection of pain feels good to them.

There are old stories about light witches who knew this wisdom in many forms around the world. And there’s many myths about witches combatting vampires. (Historically, they’ve never gotten along and never been able to stay away from each other either).

When you read them, you can often trace where the wisdom aligns with what you experience with narcissists.

One thing many witches knew was that the first thing to understand about energetic warfare is the cord.

1. Find the Cord

Some people leave relationships. With a narcissist, you leave attachments.

Photo by Ricardo Gomez Angel on Unsplash

You can be hundreds of miles away from someone and still feel them tugging at you like a hook beneath the ribs.

People often discuss this phenomenon: the soul tie, the invisible red string, the odd and eerie ability to FEEL THE FEELINGS OF YOUR NARCISSIST.

If you entangle with a warlock who tries to kill you and you’re spiritually gifted, you’ll feel the corpse of their inner child and all their trauma in your ribcage. You’ll wonder if you’re keeping that ghost safe or imprisoned.

There’s also the sense that they feel you too: how do they know to hoover just when you secretly started liking someone else or to reach out right after you dream about them?

There’s also that: the dreams. Intrusive thoughts. Sudden dread.

And, of course, good old PTSD.

To a narcissist, giving you PTSD is like they’ve chosen to MARRY YOU. This is how they remain relevant in your nervous system for life.

A narcissist doesn’t mean any of their vows or promises, but they meant it when they said FOREVER.

Then there’s the strange feeling that someone is watching you when nobody is there. Is it paranoia…or….

Why do you SMELL them?

The vampire feels the victim.

The victim feels the vampire.

This is true in nearly every classic vampire tale I’ve ever read, from Dracula, to Carmilla, to Interview with the Vampire: after they feed on you, they feel you and you feel them.

With a narcissist, this cord is strengthened through sex and orgasm: it can be consensual or nonconsensual. This is also why they tend to push for sex very quickly. It’s territoriral. Ownership.

Because somewhere between you and them is a cord they attached.

So cut it.

Then cut it again.

And again.

Cord-cutting is not always a one-and-done ceremony.

Sometimes you have to keep choosing yourself until the invisible rope finally gets bored of you and falls apart.

And warlocks can be really creative in maintaining a tether. You can do a million cord cuts only to discover they’re maintaining a tether by calling you repeatedly from spam numbers and you need to change your phone number. Again.

Black magic is parasitic and so are vampires: they need to attach to drain and absorb the energy.

You have to keep finding the tethers and cutting them. Plucking the ticks off of the crevice they burrowed into.

Black magic often comes with infestations, so combat those professionally and ALSO ritualistically. Take it seriously — a flea infestation in your pets from black magic probably requires a vet visit and not just over the counter. The roaches need a professional.

Keep choosing yourself, cleansing your spaces, and blocking every doorway.

This is you enforcing SPIRITUAL BOUNDARIES.

The tether and the spiritual connection can begin to feel eerily intimate, so don’t be surprised when the spellwork for tether cutting also includes grief.

2. Return to Sender

Not revenge.

Return.

In a lot of old witchy tales, you don’t have to chase someone into the darkness to defeat them.

You simply refuse to carry what was never yours.

Send it back.

It’s the equivalent of forcing them to look in the mirror. They must sit in what they wished for someone else. They must endure what they had no empathy for.

With the cold, magnificent neutrality of the universe mailing a package back to its original address:

Wrong recipient.

Then protect yourself.

Protection spells. Cleansing. Prayer. Salt. Smoke. Fire. Water. Ancestors. Black crystals. Whatever belongs to your spiritual vocabulary.

And repeat.

And repeat again.

3. Do Not Become the Hex

This is the part people often don’t like.

There are many fake "dark empaths" out there: they say that you need to use darkness to defeat darkness, and it's justified because "narcissists deserve it."

Those people are narcissists fantasizing, because you can't be an empath without empathy, and empathy prevents abuse.

A true dark empath will be someone who can shine light in the darkest of places.

You can hex.

But every witch knows there’s a price to working with poison.

You get in enough entanglements and you’ll notice how many of the most diabolical people you ever knew struggle to have kids, have miscarriages, or lose a child young…

They didn’t fully understand the terms of their spiritual contracts from all their black magic. A life for a life.

When you wish harm upon a living creature, it can come back to you, because we’re all one, so that pain is likely to boomerang.

This doesn’t mean you aren’t justified in your anger or that you aren’t owed justice.

This is just spiritual safety. CAUTION.

You can listen or not.

I hexed once thinking the crime against me and danger to others was bad enough to warrant a hex — the cost was immediate and not worth it in my opinion. Never again.

Hexes work.

But you don’t want to be like narcissists, as part of the cost of a hex is obsession with the nemesis (your grief gets stuck in anger and won’t heal), and you don’t want to spend your precious life staring into the darkness and anger, feeding it your attention, becoming fluent in the language of your enemy.

Let the universe handle consequences. Karma is real and doesn’t fail.

For a narcissist, their whole lives are karma.

It doesn’t always look like lightning. Narcissists often have quiet, perpetual misery. Ask any one of us raised by them.

Sometimes, their karma is also watching your freedom and healing from afar, watching you become the person you chose to be.

That can be punishment enough. It’s a never-ending pain to lose a genuinely loving person when you were never loved authentically in your life.

They’re always watching. When they can’t look in the mirror, then they have nothing else to look at but the ones who got away.

4. Remember What Demons Fear & Feed on Your Fear

Demons and monsters are made stronger through fear. They seek to evoke it to feed on it.

As much as you can, withold it.

And KNOW YOUR POWER.

Here is my favorite witchy advice that I learned through experience:

The worst thing for a demon is when their ritual sacrifice resurrects.

Often, the goal of narcissistic attack from a sociopath is death. And that’s because you’re a ritual blood offering.

The resurrection of the sacrifice is their greatest horror and proof of eternal defeat, of the dark energy they worshipped abandoning them. It’s their plummet into an ego death.

Because demons and vampires, in the mythology of the human imagination, are death manifested.

They understand destruction.

They understand endings.

They understand fear.

But resurrection is a power they have no dominion over.

The person who was supposed to disappear gets up.

The woman who was supposed to be ruined becomes radiant.

The person who was supposed to remain psychologically imprisoned walks outside barefoot into the morning and realizes:

Oh. I’m still here and I’m better than ever.

Death has no vocabulary for that.

Like love, it TERRIFIES them.

5. Enlist the Dead

And if you’re feeling particularly witchy and bold?

Go where the dead sleep.

Walk through a graveyard.

Speak your plight aloud.

Tell the ancestors what happened.

Some ghosts won’t care, but some will recognize your struggle in their own injustices.

Leave flowers.

Leave bread.

Leave coins.

Leave something beautiful.

Ask for protection.

Ask for wisdom.

Ask them to stand behind you.

Then go home.

Take a bath.

Wash your hair.

Open a window.

Light a candle.

And choose yourself again.

Because the greatest spiritual protection covering isn’t through black magic.

It’s through innocence and LOVE.

Having those traits alone — good intentions with love for self and others — will give you significant spiritual covering, even miracles at times.

Spiritual resilience is refusing to let someone else’s darkness convince you that darkness is the only option or the ultimate power.

Unconditional love from a distance can be its own kind of armor.

Prayer can be a shield.

And healing is resurrection.

So let them have their darkness.

You have a life to reclaim.

Elevate.

Evolve.

Or remain buried.

The choice, as always, is yours.

But if you’ve already crawled out of the grave?

Darling, for heaven’s sake, don’t climb back in.

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For individual coaching to recover from narcissistic abuse, BPD, or sexual assault, visit https://am-champion.com

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Anne M. Champion is the author of This is a Story About Ghosts: A Memoir of Borderline Personality Disorder (KDP, 2024), Hunted Carrion: Sonnets to a Stalker (KDP, 2024), She Saints & Holy Profanities (Quarterly West, 2019), The Good Girl is Always a Ghost (Black Lawrence Press, 2018), Book of Levitations (Trembling Pillow Press, 2019), Reluctant Mistress (Gold Wake Press, 2013), and The Dark Length Home (Noctuary Press, 2017). Her work appears in Verse Daily, diode, Tupelo Quarterly, Prairie Schooner, Crab Orchard Review, Salamander, New South, Redivider, PANK Magazine, and elsewhere. She was a 2009 Academy of American Poets Prize recipient, a 2016 Best of the Net winner, a Douglas Preston Travel Grant recipient, and a Barbara Deming Memorial Grant recipient. She has degrees in Behavioral Psychology and Creative Writing.